Sonic Adventure 2 Abridged
by VonJabey
Summary: Welcome to a more...optimistic look at SA2. Places that don't resemble places from the first game, Chaos emeralds, color blind people, idiot heroes, Emo's, prostitutes, and Eggheads galore!...very strong T


Sonic Adventure 2 Abridged.

Okay before I start this, I should let you know a few things. A) I am going to pushing the T rating a lot. B) This is a side story, and not of the utmost importance. C) Forget everything you know about Sonic and his friends.

Prison Island, which will not blow up in a cut scene 20:21 P.M.

Multiple mechanical doors slide down a hall way, as the camera pans to show Dr. Eggman himself, in an Walker, firing blasts from a cannon. "Muhahahaha! It's a good thing my legs and ass can turn into a walker! And it's a good thing Prison Island has the research files of my Grandfather, who I have never mentioned before!" Eggman yelled as he walked down a hallway.

Iron Gate, Which Tails will never get to play in, and it won't be exactly the same. Mission 1, Haul your Fat ass to the research lab.

Eggman fell from the ceiling and hit the ground with a thud, before groaning. "I knew having so many burritos was a bad idea! Oh well. Let's blow Shi* up!" Eggman yelled walking forwards before a blue robotic…thing flew up to him

"Press the B button to fire! Don't let your health gage hit zero! Get rings to life! Press A to jump!" The robot yelled

"…Shut the Fuc* up." Eggman said continuing on

Later…

"Arg! If only someone told me how to jump, shoot, and stay alive!" Eggman yelled as robots fired at him

5 hours later.

Eggman ran through the goal ring and began jumping up and down "Yes!" Eggman yelled

Results

Time 7 hours

Rings: 0 out of 378

Score: 0

"Oh god!" Eggman yelled.

Cut scene time

"Now let's see, password…MA-RI-A Maria." Eggman said typing the password into a control panel and placing a grey chaos emerald into the middle as a large device rose from the floor. The lights around it turned on, and a Black and Red hedgehog became visible "Sonic?! Is that you? I'm color blind like every other human on this planet!" Eggman yelled

"I…am Shadow the Hedgehog, and for freeing me from my prison, I shall grant you one wish." Shadow said

"…I want a pony!" Eggman yelled "…No." Shadow answered "I want a cookie!" "No." "I want to take over the world!" "Fine."

"HEY HEY GUYS IT'S ME MAD DOG! I HAVE THE ENEMY IN MY SIGHT!" A man in a mech yelled as he flew over

"I shall kill this random guard for you doctor." Shadow said initiating the inevitable Boss fight

Boss fight S.P.E.C.I.A.L C.A.S.E. M.A.D. D.O.G.

Shadow Jumped onto the cock pit and

Sorry, we're rated T…at least until Rouge get's involved.

"Shadow! You made the first case of censorship in the show!" Eggman said before Shadow walked away

"Shadow wait!" Eggman yelled "Bring more chaos emeralds, I shall wait for you, on the central control room, on the space colony ARK…Bring me a Mcdouble too, I haven't had anything to eat in 50 years." Shadow said before leaving "ARK?" Eggman pondered

Angel Islan- Dessert Area 10:34 A.M.

"So…how much?" Knuckles asked a bat "More than you can afford, hun." The bat said back "I'll pay you with a Master Emerald." Knuckles said "Fine where is it?" The bat asked "Look Ma! I told you people win a claw machines!" Eggman yelled picking up the Master Emerald with a claw "My payment!" Rouge yelled

"My emerald!" Knuckles yelled before jumping up and breaking the master emerald "NO!" Rouge yelled before Knuckles landed she ran over and began shaking him repeatedly

"What did you do?! I needed that emerald! You better pay me back!" Rouge yelled "No bitch." Knuckles yelled before running away

(I won't be writing Knuckles/ Rouge levels, just before, and after. If you've played the game you'll know why.)

Knuckles looked at the handful of emerald shards he had grabbed and smiled. "I win." Knuckles said before running off somewhere

Still not angel island 8:00 P.M.

Eggman was deep inside his secret base, watching the price is right, when the T.V. station changed "Breaking news, some hedgehog that could only be sonic and no-one else, just robbed the bank and stole a chaos emerald! In other news Miles "Tails" Prower saved the city and has been awarded with a life time saving card to wal-mart, and a chaos emerald." A news caster said before the T.V. flicked off. "…Fifty bucks of KFC says that was Shadow."

Downtown Station Squa-some random city, 8:12 P.M.

Shadow was busy Emoing on a roof, he had nothing better to do after all, "Maria…I grant you what you wish, I always let you be the racecar in monopoly, I always listened to your problems, I always let you try your new Bazookas on random people. Now I grant you…revenge! (Yes when Maria told him to make people happy, he decides to do that Via revenge, not making this Shi* up.)

Station Squar-Some random city, 12:31 A.M.

No time the episodes over, We'll escape from the city and live and learn next time, Believe in the jabey who Believes in Myself but My sweet passion of playing pokemon may make the update times Unknown From M.E. but it doesn't Matter.


End file.
